A Clockwork Thomas and Friends

So this week has seen a trip to minor injuries ward, rest easy, not for my little man, for me. That’s right folks, I had to go in to check that I hadn’t become blind in one eye.

You know how when you look at a bright light, and then look away, or close your eyes, you see spots for a while. Well, all I could see for 24 hours was the smiling face of a certain cheeky engine, that has caused confusion and delay more times than I care to mention. This was due to the fact that his face was tattooed onto my eye ball by a rather exuberant little chap, with said train in his hand.

Picture your humble narrator, sat in a cubicle with a devotchka dripping local anesthetic onto my glazz , and then some bright orange dye, like in some real horror show movie, with the old Ludvig van playing in the background, and you will realise how uncanny this scene is, minus the apparatus for keeping my eyelids from shutting of course.

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If the situation wasn’t brown trouser enough already, when the nurse mentioned “local anesthetic” my brain instantly pictured a needle/eyeball interaction, and my arse tried to chew it’s way through my trousers, and the chair I was sat on. (I would just like to take this opportunity to thank my brain for that amazing fart.) Eventually the reality of the situation kicked in and everything apart from my heart relaxed.

Trying to read the letters on an eye chart, while your eye is streaming like Niagara Falls, is none too easy, and none too pleasant I might add. I had to give up on the bottom line about halfway through, so rattled off the line above instead. Then with my good eye the bottom line was easy and I was pleasantly surprised that what I had tried with my sh*tty eye was spot on. No permanent damage done then, check!

Even with a pain killer that goes directly onto the eyeball, the following morning it took me an hour to open my eye without experiencing any pain, and a further 24 hours of pain relief, before the pain had subsided, and the ghostly visage of Thomas ‘the fr*ck*in’ Tank Engine had dissipated. Just in time to receive a wayward thumb in the other oculus…

…Twice!…

…and then again in the super bad eye the following day…

…and several times since…

…*huge-fr*ck*n’-sigh-and-much-fr*ck*n’-cursing-of-a-certain-fr*ck*n’-tank-fr*ck*n’-engine*…

…under my breath of course, like Dick Dastardly ‘s canine friend.

So what’s next? I’m thinking a short visit to the Island of Sodor, is in order. For some proper horrorshow krovvy and keeshkas. Sort Sir Topham Hatt right out!!!

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Righty right my droogs, I’m off to the builders merchants to get some safety glasses, and then a quick phone call to those health and safety chaps, to come up with a comprehensive risk assessment, for parenting. I’m sure the paperwork will make Microsoft’s terms and conditions look like a large print copy of Roger Hargreaves’ Mr. Tickle.
Be dobby, smeck grimly, and skvat jeezny by the sharries droogs! 

Dohigh. 

Now that Mr Tickles ‘in da house’, there just had to be some tickling going on, and I’m sure these following links will provide just the right amount. 

A Trip to the Park
Embarrassing Moments
Daddy Daycare
 If you want to find some more brilliant parenting blog posts, click on the links provided below 😀

A Bod For Tea

Share the Joy linky at bodfortea.co.uk

The Dad Network

The Dad Network

honestmum.com

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

And then the fun began...
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20 thoughts on “A Clockwork Thomas and Friends

  1. Our lives have also been tainted by many a “Thomas and his sodding Friends” injury. Namely my feet. I think my husband will enjoy this post too so sending him the link now. Nice one. Hope your eye isn’t too broken! #brilliantblogposts

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your posts! I love how you write and use certain visual aids. (Pardon the pun there!) Hope the eye isn’t too damaged but safety goggles sound like the best plan! Thanks for linking up with us for the #bigfatlinky!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ouch! They’re just lethal, these tykes – not long ago my toddler headbutted me in the nose and I howled like a banshee. Two full weeks of bruising and pain and he, of course, didn’t bat an eyelid. Hope your eye heals soon and thanks for joining in with the #sharethejoylinky!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh dear… Thomas and his Friends have an awful lot to answer for, don’t they? You’ve made me eyes water just thinking about all of that!! We’re unfortunately moving into the realms of lego right now, I fear that this may be our biggest nemesis…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to admit that the only injury I have received regarding Thomas and friends is mental and emotional scarring. My father in law thought it would be a good idea to buy my son the collection – all sodding 67 (ish) books worth. On a lighter note, haven’t read A Clockwork Orange in about 25 years but wow, it all comes back to me now… possibly not suitable for bedtime stories though…#thetruthabout

    Liked by 1 person

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